"It's been a long time comin'
You know there's something that's goin' on here,
That surely, surely, surely won't stand the light of day."
-David Crosby 1968
After much ado (doo), the ThunderDrunk.com Clan has been sighted in
Austin, TX once again, and rumor has it that they are planning an
Anti-Holiday Party Holiday Party. Judging by the baller flyer created
by A-Money, anyone who even vaguely resembles that little
1950's shit from 'A Christmas Story' is liable to get a ThunderPunch to
the face...and maybe even witness a mushroom cloud that would make
Bikini
Atoll wince. Invites are
exclusive, as one might expect, although we have managed to get
ourselves a copy via fax machine.
We've even heard rumors of a Foosball table, sports betting and guest
DJs Daft Punk¹, so
bring your dance shoes,wallets and an idea of your favorite
pony.
Yes, we are godless heathens, but no one parties like those
without any moral restrictions or space junk insurance. Least but not
last, our ThunderDrunk Accounting Team will
also be on hand-as it is the end of the 4th fiscal quarter- to assist
you with moving around your revenue to avoid any government
taxes². So
in longing spirit, the ThunderDrunk crew hopes to see you there, with a
drink in your hand, loud music playing, and
dressed to get fucked.
Cheers,
The
Count
¹Daft
Punk may or may not be actually playing at our housse
²Results not
typical
Previous
Displays of Wit and Guilt
elcome...
As Pink
Floyd once said, "Welcome to the Machine." What better way to kick off
the end of the autumn, the end of REM, and the end of the US economy,
than by launching the hippest and tightest in internets entertainment
technology?
The
Thunderdrunk.com Orgasmatic 5000. Throw away any instructions because
we want hands torn off, kids huffing cellophane, and coffee tables
being drunkenly thrown and destroyed. For those not in the know,
amazon.com sells great replacement glass tables. <insert
hyperlink for amazon.com coffee tables which will lead to commission
opportunities for the thunderdrunk.com clan...buy, sell, be fruitful
and multiply>
Twenty
cigarettes will be smoked, because that's just the way it goes. As an
initial entry, I provide you with thus: an Excel
spreadsheet
I made one hungover morning at work documenting the booze I consumed
the night before. I initially decided to do this for a whole month, but
after being thoroughly grossed out at the amount of cirosis I've no
doubt accumulated, I quit after 3 days. Documenting, not drinking.
As noted
cocaine abuser, Big League Chew inventer, and occassional ballplayer
Jim Bouton noted:
"You spend
your whole life gripping a drink, and in the end it turns out it was
the other way around the whole time."
...Or
something.
Cheers,
-The Count
